My excuses in a nutshell: clearing out the old apartment, moving into the new house, cleaning the old apartment, cleaning the new house, pregnancy fatigue, anemia fatigue, vicious cold, no internet, unpacking, unpacking and unpacking while being hugely pregnant.
Now I can move onto more important things. Like Advent.
Chris and I are determined to make Advent mean something for us this year. Or maybe I should say finally participating in it's meaning. It clearly already has meaning, I don't need to create one.
Advent is a time of preparation. What better year for our family to decide to take Advent seriously than the year I am in my third trimester for our first baby? Our whole life right now is preparation!
We're a week behind on getting an Advent wreath (although I'm stealing this great, super frugal idea from my friend Erin's blog) but we've managed to do a daily reading and meditation.
Although I've been adamant about preparing for the baby ever since I found out about her in June, (she has a super safe car seat, some seriously cute diapers and more money in her bank account than I do) I haven't gone manic *yet* (her room is undecorated and completely filled to the max with boxes...it's kind of ridiculous. I should get on that.)
Ok, so I'm not that ready for the baby. I still have 9 weeks. I hope. (If not, she will be very naked and sleeping in a dresser drawer for awhile). However, I wouldn't dream of being grossly unprepared financially or failing to buy a safe car seat. These things are super important.
Where is this urgency when preparing my heart for the Advent of Christmas/Advent of the arrival of Baby Reed?
This Advent, I want to prepare my heart for her. What steps am I making to prepare my heart for this beautiful little person who is going to 100% rely on me? How much am I praying for a change within myself so that she can grow up with the Mama she deserves? I'm thinking of starting everyday with this prayer: Lord, please help me today to be more motivated and less neurotic.
Ultimately this Advent, I prepare my heart for Him. I can be neither the wife or the mother I want to be if I don't start here. Line of thought/prayer at Mass this weekend:
-Advent is about preparing the way for Him.
-What are the obstacles in my life that keep me from engrossing myself in my spiritual life?
-Over and over, I couldn't think of anything tangible. Then, the answer seemingly floated down from the rafters in the church and landed squarely in front of me: Myself. I am the obstacle. Here is my first prayer for Advent:
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…
-Litany of Humility
Easy, huh?
And maybe one day after daily Mass, I'll go buy my little girl some warm baby clothes. She's going to be pretty cold in that dresser drawer.
